Sexy: A Really Really Random Encounter
by HarmoniousPie
Summary: When Tony goes down to autopsy to talk to Palmerthings get a little...random. No Slash. Written for the NFA Really Really Random Challenge. Takes place during Gibbs' Mexican vacation


This was written for the NFA Really Really Random Challenge. I do hope you enjoy it. NO SLASH! Takes place between seasons 3 and 4.

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**Sexy: A Really Really Random Encounter**

My prompt: Tony DiNozzo/Jimmy Palmer/Sexy

This takes place during Gibbs' Mexican Hiatus. After all when better to have DiNozzo/Palmer action. Not slash though.

It wasn't often that Senior Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo went down to Autopsy to visit his confidante Jimmy Palmer. Usually they'd meet in the evidence garage but since Ducky was gone for the night and Tony really needed to talk to Palmer he found himself in the elevator going down to autopsy. It seemed to be a fairly normal day at NCIS until Tony stepped out of the elevator. That's when he heard a song playing that he hadn't heard for years.

_I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me_

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

He walked over to the doors to see Jimmy dancing while "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blared out of the speakers attached to his iPod.

_And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing  
_

At this Palmer did something Tony didn't expect, he ripped his shirt in half and started doing the Hustle. All Tony could do was stand there while Palmer danced and strutted his stuff.

_I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk_

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

Tony noticed something odd right then. Jimmy wasn't wearing scrub pants like he usually did. Instead he was wearing a pair of those workout pants that had buttons up the side. Tony wanted to leave but he just couldn't look away.

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

And then Palmer did the one thing that Tony never saw coming: he ripped the pants off to reveal a pair of hot pink Speedos with the word "SEXY" written across the ass. It was quite possibly one of the weirdest things that DiNozzo had ever seen…and he had been to McGeek's apartment. There was no way in hell that he would ever be able to get the sight of Jimmy's ass in hot pink Speedos out of his mind. This would probably give him nightmares for _weeks_!

_I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my_

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

Tony knew he should have turned around and walked out by now but he just couldn't move from where he was. His feet felt like they were glued to the floor of the autopsy room. Just then Palmer spun around and was facing DiNozzo while doing pelvic thrusts. Tony's eyes nearly bulged out of his head yet still he couldn't close them or tear his eyes away.

_And I'm too sexy for this song_

Finally it was over! Before Tony could take one step backwards, Jimmy opened his eyes.

"Agent DiNozzo! Tony!" he squeaked jumping into the air.

"What the hell is going on in here Palmer?" he asked.

"I…uh… thought that everyone had left for the night…because y'know we solved the case. And…I was… I was practicing a dance that I'm going to do for my girlfriend." Palmer managed to stutter out.

"So you thought practicing in AUTOPSY was a good idea? What if a body came in and someone who isn't me came in? If it had been a woman you could have ended up being arrested for sexual harassment!"

"I know, I know! But it's the only place where there's enough room for me to practice and no one will make fun of me."

"Practice for what, Palmer?"

"My girlfriend and some of her friends want me to put on this performance to a song with the word sexy in the title. Her birthday is in September and I still need to find two other guys to do this with me."

"Her friends hot?" Tony asked.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Palmer, really? Me? Hot chicks? Me stripping for hot chicks? _Hello????_"

"I must have forgotten who I was talking to! Let me show you a picture!"

Palmer walked over to the desk, and grabbed his cell phone. He flipped it open and started walking back while going through his pictures. Tony suddenly remembered that Palmer still was only wearing his hot pink Speedos.

"Palmer, can you please put your clothes back on? It's kinda starting to weird me out."

"Of course, Tony." He said, taking the ripped shirt off his torso and looking around for his pants.

Tony looked at the picture on the screen of Jimmy's cell phone. In the center if the group of girls was…Michelle Lee! Was she Palmer's girlfriend?

"Palmer, why is Lee in this picture?"

"She's my girlfriend! Those are some of her friends...will you help me?" he asked.

Tony considered the other girls in the picture. They were _really_ good looking…though Lee was his subordinate and this could make things awkward between them. But hell the performance was in September and it was late-June now…who knew what could happen in the intervening months!

"Sure why not. I'll dance with you."

"Great! Thanks, Tony!" he said while heading over to his iPod.

"What are you doing?"

"You need to start learning the dance tonight. You'll have to watch me again."

Tony paled. His issue from earlier was completely forgotten. He was going to have to watch Palmer dance again? What had he gotten himself into? He wasn't quite sure that he could handle this.

2 weeks later…

"Ziva, have you seen Tony? I need him to go over this report for me." McGee asked.

"Hot date tonight, McGee?"

"Really hot. I'm doing upgrades in the Lab for Abby."

"Ah. Check autopsy. Ducky says that he has been going down there a lot lately."

McGee took the elevator down to autopsy. When he stepped out he heard the song "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate coming from behind the doors. He peeked through to see Tony and Palmer dancing around in Speedos. Quickly deciding that he didn't want to know nor did he want to get dragged into whatever was going on between them and that his report could wait, Tim hurried back to the elevator.

"Did you find him?" Ziva asked when he returned.

"I found him. I found more of him or Palmer than I ever wanted to see."

"What?"

"I don't know what's going on and I didn't stay to find out but all I know is…it was really really random…"


End file.
